The Return of Marvel's Registration Act: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Tonight is a big night. What can fans expect from Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D? We can expect a little bit of ABC's campyness, a C-list villain, hints about Agent Coulson's return, and Lola. For anyone living under a rock, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D is a spin off of last summer's blockbuster hit, Avengers. Instead of focusing on Marvel's big guns, this group of Agents handles cases that the big guns do not. This show can be considered an adaptation of Marvel's Secret Avengers without the cape and tights.

Midway through the summer, I noticed a few articles mentioning Marvel's Superhero Registration Act. Much to my surprise, Marvel's cinematic universe was attempting an adaptation and calling it "Registered Gifted Act." One of the very few sites to even mention the act was Superhero Movie News and Bleeding Cool. On July 16th, Marvel registered "Registered Gifted" for trademark. Of course "gifted" is an alternate word for Mutants, since Fox owns all the rights to the X-Men franchise.

What exactly is Marvel's history with the Registered Act? Here's a quick history lesson.

After the collapse of the Avengers and the death of the Mutant gene, (thanks a lot, Scarlet Witch) Tony Stark and Fantastic Four's Reed Richards supported the Federal Government's Superhero Registration Act. The Act ordered super humans to inform the government of their secret identities. Furthermore, they can be called upon by the government at anytime during a national crisis. Even though Iron Man and Cap's identities were not a secret, this Act impacted Marvel's street heroes. It laid the foundation for Marvel's Civil War which dissolved the Avengers into two camps, one led by Iron Man, and the other by Captain America. The biggest consequence was Spider-Man unmasking himself on live television. His unmasking led to the near death of his Aunt May (for like the fifth time), and the demonic divorce between Peter and Mary Jane. Yes, demonic. Google it if you care.

Now that I'm done telling you about its comic history, lets start connecting the dots with the Act's possible history with the cinematic universe.

1. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D deals with classified cases that do not evolve the Avengers. I'm wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that J. August Richard (Gunn from Angel) is playing Luke Cage and not Mike Peterson. Mike Peterson is too normal of a name for a Whedon creation. Buffy is a cool name, and Mike is super average. Not very exciting.

2. I don't see Civil War being a major part of the Avenger movies because they simply won't have time. Avengers 2 is using Ultron, and Whedon has mentioned that Thanos (the villain we saw in the first movie) will be the villain for the third movie. That's a whole lot of story and not enough time for a superhero war.

3. Sony owns the rights to Spider-Man and has zero plans to sell it back to Disney. I truly believe we will never ever see a crossover between Spider-Man and the Avengers on the big screen. Would it make 44 trillion dollars? That's a yes, but I cannot see Disney and Sony agreeing on how they would split the revenue. Sometimes greed can ruin a fanboy's wet dream.

4. With Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D unable to use Marvel's #1 street hero, the show needs a hero almost on the same level as Spider-Man. Recently, Marvel got back the rights to their next best street heroes, Daredevil and The Punisher. Since the tv show will be using the art and focusing on the street heroes, I'm a little nervous. Daredevil and The Punisher do not deserve TV treatment. They deserve the big screen.

5. If it turns out that J. August Richardson is Luke Cage, then I support the small screen adaptation of Registration Act. Once we see Luke Cage, I can see them bringing Iron Fist to the show, and that means Heroes for Hire is happening. Every 70s-80s comic fan will jump for joy and do an awkward dance. For those who don't know, Iron-Fist is a New York City Playboy. He's kind of like Batman, but with Ku Fung superpowers. Using the Act would be a great way of introducing Marvel's favorite tag team.

4 Designs Enter and Only 1 Goes to NYCC

New York Comic Con is 27 days away. The first year we attended, we had this grand dream that someone would notice us, dig our book, and we would get signed. The second year, we printed out 19 copies of the Shepherd #1 script and one small company wanted to see our preview. However, they wanted to see the first 8 drawn pages, and we had zero. We did, however, get to meet Grant Morrison, Jeff Lemire, and we saw Guillermo del Toro in the distance. 2013 is our third year in a row attending NYCC and we are ready to make a splash. Sadly, we do not have Shepherd #1 or 617 #1  (our second creator owned book) but we do have something at least as cool for those that are not attending NYCC for the comic books. After months of dialogue, the Illumi-Nerdi is ready to hand out t-shirts at NYCC.  To the right of this post, you will find the absolute most important question of the year: Which design should be Nerdi-fied? 4 designs enter, only 1 leaves the blog, and heads to NYCC. Which one will you pick? 

 1. The Blade Runner Design

2. The Alien Encounter Design

3. The Ashyhouse Design 

4. The Funkhouse Design

Where Were You When the Justice League Died?

Part 1

Part 2

Last week, DC's New 52 began its 3rd year with a bang. In Forever Evil #1, Nightwing was outed as Dick Grayson, and the Justice League were defeated and declared dead by Earth 3's Crime Syndicate (Their JLA). This is a quick right turn from its second year which fans have described as awful and disfranchising. After Forever Evil #1, we can expect a lot of fun and major changes in year 3. Surprisingly, no other site has done a parody on where DC's heroes, villains, and the average joe were during the "death" of the Justice League. Luckily for you, The Illumi-Nerdi is the only place in the world, maybe the universe, where you can find such a parody. Let us know what you think. Enjoy.

Part 1: Joker, Lex Luthor, Captain Cold, and Marvel's Cyclops

Part 2: Elliot Spitzer, Bane, Lady Gaga, and the Knicks' J.R Smith.

...Or Not For Affleck. Part 2

Brian: And now for something completely different… Let me say right off the Bat (hehe) that I don’t despise the casting of Ben Affleck as everybody’s favorite detective. I think there are certainly worse choices that were being kicked around (Gosling would have been awful, Cooper isn’t even close and Hamm is a non-event) but there are countless better ones (I made my argument for Karl Urban in my last post). But part of my argument against the other big contenders for the role was that these actors were just too well known. This is CERTAINLY true for Ben Affleck. Every single person has an association with this man, and a lot of them are a bit too difficult to shake (I’m looking at you Gigli). Affleck is simply too familiar, too well known and too easy for the studios to say yes to. Casting Henry Cavill as Superman was at least a semi-risky choice (before being cast in Man of Steel and he was mostly know for the porno erotic, historic drama The Tudors). Despite what you might think about Man of Steel, I think everyone liked Cavill as Superman, so the risk paid off. For Affleck, however, it’s the complete lack of risk that could end up being risky (just look at the backlash already).

          That being said, I’m going to react to some of the people who are defending this casting. A lot of people defending the casting for the Batman vs. Superman film aren’t necessarily defending Ben Affleck per se. They’re saying things like “give him a chance”, “he’s really turned his career around lately” and most importantly “everyone hated the Heath Ledger casting for The Dark Knight”. And I absolutely agree with all of that. But let’s talk about that Heath Ledger thing. A lot of people had problems with this casting because he had recently played a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain. Well, a lot of people are morons. Needless to say, Heath Ledger did an incomparably spectacular job as The Joker. And people use this to say Ben Affleck will do a good job as well...now, why’s that again? Because another actor in another movie did a great job, Ben will do a great job in this? Heath Ledger was much younger than Ben is and hadn’t yet broken out. But if you didn’t think he was good in movies like Brokeback Mountain, Monster’s Ball or I’m Not There, then you just didn’t care to watch those movies. But most importantly, Ledger had the benefit of one of the best storytellers of the 21^st century directing him: Christopher Nolan. Ben Affleck has Zach Snyder, a director known for his stunning visuals, but not for his magnificent storytelling or his ability to get amazing performances out of actors. So, I think the “no one liked the Heath Ledger casting at first” argument is completely moot.

I'm gawnna put this whole Gawtham in my reah view.

          Also, people point to Mr. Affleck’s recent work in The Town and Argo to attest for qualifications to play the Caped Crusader. These were undeniably good movies (bordering on excellent) but was it Ben’s eclectic range and performances that made them so? Not even sort of. Both of these movies had spectacular direction (by Ben) and truly solid performances. Renner in The Town absolutely nailed it and made me think he could be a truly great actor (but apart from The Hurt Locker, I think he’s middling around mediocrity). However, it was not Affleck’s performance that elevated these movies at all. In The Town he played a douchebag from South Boston (see: Good Will Hunting and Ben Affleck’s actual life). In Argo he did absolutely nothing that wowed me (the script didn’t really call for it). Don’t get me wrong, he certainly didn’t do anything to hurt the film, he was more than serviceable. But “more than serviceable” is not the hero Gotham deserves or needs. I just don’t believe he’s had a lot of chances to prove himself as a really good actor until recently. What movie do you recall seeing him that required any sort of range (The Town and Argo included)? Perhaps this is because he doesn’t really have any, or hopefully, it’s just because he hasn’t had the right role to do so. Batman/Bruce Wayne represents the duality of man (as any masked hero can) and is an extremely complex role, especially after seeing what Nolan/Bale did with it. I just want to see it done Justice.

Fan made

          Did I mention there are rumors that they’ve signed him to play Bruce Wayne/Batman in 13 DC films? You think you hate this casting now, wait until you’ve seen him in 13 movies. But, like I said this is not the worst casting choice they could have made. While I think Ben is absolutely wrong for the role, I like him more than enough to give him a chance. The only truly terrible part of this is the fact we probably won’t see him directing anything for a while (he was supposed to direct my favorite novel of all time, Stephen King’s The Stand and Dennis Lehane’s Live By Night). Perhaps this opens the door for him directing a Justice League movie or one of the other DC films in the future, which I’ll call a silver lining.

For Affleck....Part 1

Fan made

Phil:  Since the Batman announcement, I've watched nerd rage taken to a whole new level: a White House petition. Last I heard, it was at 25,000 signatures. Seriously??!? Another reason why society thinks jocks are cooler than nerds. Sometimes, nerd freak outs can simply get out of control, and this is one of those moments.

For those who are not Team Affleck, the foundation of their argument is Daredevil. Let's discuss this for a second. Yes, the movie was not great but I've heard only good things about the Director's Cut. Anyways, you can't blame Affleck for being in a bad superhero movie. I have not heard anyone blame Hugh Jackman for Wolverine: Origins. The blame is left in the hands of the studio, director and story. Let's not stop there. I guess people are still upset about Affleck's roles in Gigli and Pearl Harbor. Maybe these people have not seen The Town and Argo. As I present the case that Daredevil is not a good foundation, Team Not Affleck believes The Town and Argo are not valid reasons to support Affleck.

According to Lawrence Napoli, writer at Cosmic Book News, "In both of those productions, Affleck was placed in multiple seats of power and influence as a co-writer, director and lead actor. Is he somehow not going to use those opportunities to showcase himself in the best possible light?" If that is the case, Snyder and team should be smart enough to work with Affleck and ensure the job is done the right way. It is foolish to think that, "The danger lies in Affleck potentially responding in the way of the prima donna, and then press releases citing 'creative differences' occur, people walk off sets and in the meantime, the production gets sandbagged." What? Is Affleck known as a prima donna? Affleck can't act like a diva because he's entering Man of Steel 2 (Possibly called Superman vs Batman) with a chip on his shoulder. He and Snyder have something to prove, and we can expect these two to put together a superhero movie like no other. The team of Snyder and Affleck might be the best thing happening to Man of Steel 2.

Team Affleck (Fan made)

Let's talk about Ben Affleck's characteristics parallel to Batman's. He is 6'4 and Bruce's height plus the cowl makes him about 6'7. That sounds perfect. I'm not worried about muscle because it's expected of him to get BIG for this role. Have you seen the chin on him? It is without a doubt the biggest chin you will ever find under the cowl. It will own Bale's chin.

I haven't seen the original Batman movies in years. What I do remember is that Bruce Wayne was dressed to the nines and did not act like the typical prodigal son. Before Bale, Bruce Wayne was portrayed as a straight laced character. Of course that has not been the case in the comics. Thankfully, Bale changed that. However, I am about to say something that will make Nolan fans accuse me of being unholy. I think Bale overacted the scenes where Bruce Wayne was being the typical playboy. He overacted to the point where it looked blatantly obvious that Bruce was acting. That won't be the case with Ben Affleck. You can expect the best---maybe the greatest Bruce Wayne ever. Five bucks says that Affleck doesn't even have to act like a playboy because it comes so naturally.

Look at that chin (Fan made)

As soon as Affleck was announced, the girls screamed for Ryan Gosling. The guys yelled for Josh Brolin and Karl Urban. If you've seen Crazy Stupid Love, you know Gosling's abs are tight. However, he's too pretty for the role of Batman. Batman breaks noses, and Ryan Gosling makes girls scream. Do you see any benefits with Ryan Gosling playing Batman (exclude the increase in ticket sales)? Even though Josh Brolin is four years older than Affleck, he looks 50 and doesn't have that playboy swag. According to sources, Karl Urban was Snyder's #1 choice for Batman but was unable to accept the role because of his schedule. Without a doubt, Urban would have played a great Batman. However, I'm not sure how he would have portrayed Bruce Wayne. I can't see him pretending to be an arrogant playboy. We don't need another straight laced Bruce Wayne. This is a business. You want the best and the best attainable actor to portray Batman  (Bale was unattainable) is Ben Affleck. The End.


P.S. Does anyone else want to see Christian Bale play Alfred?

What happens when He-Man and the Masters of the Universe are given a cell phone?

 

This weekend, artist Chris Eric Peterson blew up the internet when he gave He-Man and the Masters of the Universe a cell phone. That incident led to these characters taking selfies, posting their lunch on Instagram and trying out sexting. 

Professor Xavier's Back, Alright.

SPOILER ALERT:

Did you see The Wolverine? If the answer is yes then look down.

At the end of X-Men: The Last Stand, Professor Xavier returned from the grave but not in the way you think. Instead of literally rising from the grave, Xavier teleports his mind into the body of a vegetable. I guess that shouldn't surprise us, right? Xavier is an omega-level mutant. For those who don't know, Xavier's ability is "most powerful genetic potential of their mutant abilities" aka if being a mutant was a professional sport, Xavier is on the level of Tiger Woods and LeBron James.

Why does all of this matter? Did you see after-credit scene in The Wolverine? While Wolverine is taking a stroll in an airport, he runs into two characters that movie goers have not seen since X-Men: The Last Stand. Of course, we were not surprised to see Magneto since the last film teased us with the idea that his powers returned. However, the biggest surprise and the scene that saved The Wolverine was the return of Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier. Xavier's body was back and he's still paralyzed.

Xavier's abilities:

Genius-level intellect
Telepathy
Empathy
Mind reading and control
Memory alteration & erasure
Mental bolts
Psionic blasts
Induced paralysis
Illusion casting
Great tactician and strategist
Astral projection
Eidetic memory

1. Lets rewind for a second. Xavier teleported his mind into another body which makes sense since it relates to Xavier's abilities. However, Xavier's body is back but I believe his original body was destroyed by the Dark Phoenix. All of this new info means that Xavier has the ability to change genes and refurnish a body. Oh. So, Xavier has a semi-shape shifting ability? Alright, that sounds like a brand new ability which I don't believe has been done before by Xavier. Wait, I'm not done. If you're a comic book reader, I am about to blow your mind.

2. A few months ago, Xavier was violently murdered by his greatest student, Scott Summers. (For the record, it wasn't really Scott's fault. His mind and body were taken over by the Phoenix and he lost control. That sounds like reasonable doubt and he could beat the rap.) As we all know, no body no death but that is not the case here because we saw Xavier's dead corpse.

R.I.P Professor Xavier

3. I'm going to be honest, I don't know how many times Xavier has died or disappeared in comics but I know of three times. He left his school after it turned out that he was 1/2 of Onslaught. He faked his death after House of M and we can add his most recent murder to the list.  In the past, comic deaths used to mean something and we barely ever saw any resurrections. Now, a character stays dead for a year maybe two at the most. With Fox making major changes to Xavier's abilities, I would not be surprised if Xavier returned in 2014. I expect it around the time DOFP hits theaters and I would not be surprised if he refurnished a new body.