On February 24th our city lost a
dear friend when, Dr. Egon Spengler, at the age of 69, passed away after being
crushed by a psychokinetic twinkie, thirty-five feet long and weighing six
hundred pounds. A close friend has gone on record to say, "That's a big
twinkie."
He is survived by the members of his
former Ghost Busting team, Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stantz, and Winston
Zeddmore. He leaves behind several close acquaintances; secretary and self
described "intellectual", Janine Melnitz; lawyer, stand-in
Ghostbuster and former Keymaster, Louis Tully, Dr. Peter Venkman's on again,
off again girlfriend of the last thirty years, Dana Barrett; and his pet
toaster.
In his free time Dr. Spengler
enjoyed straightening Slinkies and drilling holes in his head [as long as
nobody was around to stop him], as well as adding to his collection of molds,
spores, and fungi. Dr. Spengler was one of the founding members of the squad of
ghost busting civil servants known as the Ghostbusters, who came into notoriety
in the early 1980's when an ancient Sumerian God known as Gozer the Destructor sought to level the city while masquerading as a 100ft tall version of the Stay
Puft Marshmallow man.
Dr. Spengler once again came to the
aide of the city when, in 1989, a Carpathian warlord, known as Vigo the Cruel
[alias: Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy, among
others], was resurrected from a painting by a psychomagnotheric slime flow and
threatened to enslave society. His passing puts to rest any hopes for a reunion
tour with his former Ghostbuster pals, after all, how can there be a
Ghostbusters without Egon?
His efforts were truly appreciated,
and he will be deeply missed. Condolences and sympathies can be directed to the
Ghostbusters hotline: 555-2369. Who you gunna call?
Written by: Cy 'The Horror Guy'
Written by: Cy 'The Horror Guy'
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