Pages

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Definitive Fictional Baseball Player All-Stars

In honor of the return on Major League Baseball, here is the definitive full 25-man roster of fictional baseball All-Stars. A few notes: there were very few second basemen that could qualify, so I had to go with a softball player. There are also a glut of catchers out there and at least two big ones were left off. Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez's position was never stated at the end of The Sandlot, so I took the liberty to play pretty fast and loose with his position based on my needs.
Roy Hobbs

C- Jake Taylor (Major League)
1B- Lou Collins (Little Big League)
2B- Marla Hooch (A League of Their Own)
3B- Ray Mitchell (Angels in the Outfield)
SS- Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez (The Sandlot)
LF- Isuru Tanaka (Major League II)
CF- Willie "Mays" Hayes (Major League)

RF- Roy Hobbs (The Natural)
DH- Pedro Cerrano (Major League)

SP- Steve Nebraska (The Scout

SP- Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh (Bull Durham)
81 straight strikes, 27 straight outs. Not bad.
SP- Mel Clark (Angels in the Outfield)
SP- Billy Chapel (For Love of the Game)
SP- Chet "Rocket" Steadman (Rookie of the Year)

RP- Jim Bowers (Little Big League)
RP- Ryan Dunne (Summer Catch)
RP- John "Blackout" Gatling (Little Big League)
RP- Henry Rowengartner (Rookie of the Year)
C- Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughan (Major League)

Bench- C-Crash Davis (Bull Durham), 1B-Kit "Hit or Die" Kesey (Angels in the Outfield), 3B- Roger Dorn (Major League), OF- Ben Williams (Angels in the Outfield), OF- Bump Bailey (The Natural), OF- Bobby Rayburn (The Fan)
Drop dead. I got sunscreen in my eye.


Head Coach- George Knox (Angels in the Outfield)
Pitching Coach- Phil Brickma (Rookie of the Year)
Bench Coach- Pop Fisher (The Natural)

Batting Order-
1. Willie "Mays" Hayes
2. Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez
3. Roy Hobbs
4. Pedro Cerrano
5.Jake Taylor
6.Lou Collins
7. Isuru Tanaka
8. Ray Mitchell
9. Marla Hooch

Monday, April 7, 2014

We are the Walking Dead



           Season 4 of the Walking Dead is officially over and all we can do is speculate about where it will go next. This season brought a welcome change of pace to the zombie drama. Gimple is now completely finished picking up the pieces from last year's uneven Mazzera season. Overall I really enjoyed this season especially this last episode entitled "A". This is a perfect example of when the Walking Dead is firing on all cylinders. The writing was excellent but that comes as no surprise because this was a Gimple written episode. If this is the type of quality TWD can maintain next season we're in for something really special.

            Everything from the writing to the way this episode was shot screamed Darabont and really felt like a love letter to the first season and the source material. We see a scene lifted directly out of the comic books with the attack from Joe's group. This scene was pretty essential to the evolution of Rick Grimes, we are now thankfully done with a Rick that takes an episode (or two) to wrestle with the darkness he has pent up and now, after making short work of Joe's group we see him not only accepting his dark passenger, but embracing it and more importantly not forgetting what Hershel taught him. He has now found the balance between zen and brutality and that's what will keep him and his group alive. 

            I'm glad that in this episode we finally get to see Terminus and that it seems that Gimple and co have blended two of the comic book story lines together. It seems that Terminus isn't all its cracked up to be and from the looks of it these guys are preying on the living. Giving the actual zombies some competition. A lot of the themes in season 4B have been change, growth and a slow realization that as the world get's more brutal so do you making the philosophical point that, WE ARE THE WALKING DEAD! I'm still dying to see Rick shout that like he did in the graphic novels. Even though I found 4B to be a bit uneven at times overall I was really into what the writers were doing which was taking the last 8 episodes and dedicating them to the characters we have grown to love over the past few seasons and some new ones. Specifically Bob, Rick, Michonne and Daryl's story arcs were in my opinion pretty strong. I really wasn't a big fan of Glenn & Maggie in this half, they were OK but they're stories were kind of one note. Maggie desperately wanted to reunite with her husband, and also showed zero interest in reuniting with her little sister, that's kinda fucked up Maggs. 

            But now that it's all over I really liked season 4 as a whole, much better than I enjoyed the end half of season 3. Gimple seems to have a direction in mind for this show and he made the strong decision to give pretty much every character they're own story. Which is refreshing as opposed to season 3 when a lot of the B characters seemed to fade into the background. It almost seems as if season 4B was just the writers getting everything in order and setting the stage for season 5. This series now has a very clear direction for the next season which is, obviously to escape. I'd love to see a sort of "Escape from Alcatraz" meets "Day of the Dead" theme going on next season. 

            Needless to say this episode has me very excited for what’s in store next. I thought out of all of the season finales this is a very close second to the strong second season finale. The episode was filled with literary metaphors from the flashbacks to the days of the prison to even the rabbit trap, now Rick and co are the rabbits and it seems that the Terminus community are the hunters! All in all I'm giving episode 416 entitled "A" a 9 out of 10.

Written by Isaiah Mueller

Monday, March 31, 2014

The Mystery Mutant from X-Men: Days of Future Past


At first, we thought it was Forge, and that got us excited. However, it turns out we were 100% wrong. A bunch of fanboys on Facebook informed us that this mystery mutant is a Marvel super-villain, Trevor Fitzroy.

Here's some info thanks to Wiki, "Trevor Fitzroy is a Marvel Comics supervillain, an enemy of the X-Men, in particular Bishop. Created by Jim Lee and Whilce Portacio, he first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #281 (October 1991). Fitzroy hails from the same dystopian future as Bishop. A mutant criminal, he possesses the ability to absorb energy from human beings and use that energy to open time portals, which is how Bishop traveled to the present. He has since been featured as the main adversary in series featuring Bishop."







P.S. Did we get you??????????????????????????????


Monday, March 17, 2014

Ready, Set, Go! Dark Horse's Plan to Battle The Big 3

For the past few years, the comic market has seen a pretty solid increase in readers. Yes, comic stores can thank movies like Nolan's Batman trilogy and Marvel's Avenger franchise. However, comic readership has expanded beyond the superhero genre. Readership has expanded to the indie companies such as Image, Boom, Dynamite, Avatar, Oni Press, and Dark Horse. The most underrated company of 2013 is Dark Horse. A few months ago, Dark Horse sent us their "Best of the Best" list. Sadly, I got caught up in the real world, looked for a job outside the restaurant industry, and fell behind on the comic industry. 

Now that I'm back, I'm ready to educate new and old school comic readers. Outside the cape genre there are titles and stories that a Kubrick, Spielberg, and a Nolan fan would  foam at the mouth if they gave comics a chance. Titles like Mind MGMT, Hellboy in Hell, The Black Beetle, and Breath of Bones represent a medium that is untapped and deserves more recognition from the mass public. Trust me when I write that the stories on these pages are a breed of their own. 

Amazon’s Best Books of 2013: The Black Beetle | MIND MGMT
Big Shiny Robot’s Best of 2013: 47 Ronin | MIND MGMT 
iTunes’ iBooks Best of 2013: MIND MGMT | Bad Houses | The Creep
io9’s Best Products of Comic-Con 2013: Game of Thrones figures
IGN’s Best Products of Comic-Con 2013: Zelda figures
Bleeding Cool’s 11 Best Comics of 2013: Buzzkill | Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight | Hellboy in Hell
NewsOK’s 10 Best Comic Book Series of 2013: The Black Beetle
Time Magazine’s Top 10 Comics and Graphic Novels: Bad Houses
Paste Magazine’s 10 Best Comics of 2013: MIND MGMT | Bad Houses
Paste Magazine’s 13 Best Webcomics of 2013: Battlepug
ComicsAlliance’s Best Comic Books of 2013: Hellboy in Hell | The Black Beetle | MIND MGMT | Catalyst Comix | The Fifth Beatle | Star Wars line
WhatCulture’s 50 Best Comics of 2013: Bandette
io9’s The Very Very Best Comics of 2013: MIND MGMT | The Fifth Beatle
Digital Spy’s Top 10 Comics of 2013: Hellboy in Hell
Huffington Post’s 10 Best Comics of 2013: Concrete Park
Newsarama’s The Best of Best Shots 2013: Kelly Sue DeConnick (Ghost) | Matt Kindt (MIND MGMT) | Amala’s Blade 
The Onion’s A.V. Club’s Best Mainstream & Superhero Comics of 2013: Dream Thief | Hellboy in Hell | MIND MGMT
Bloody Disgusting’s Best Comics of 2013: Abe Sapien | Hellboy in Hell
Bloody Disgusting’s Top Miniseries and Ongoings of 2013: The Black Beetle | Dream Thief | The Goon | The Victories
Bloody Disgusting’s Top 10 Debut Issues of 2013: Buzzkill
Bloody Disgusting’s Best Comics Miniseries of 2013: To Hell You Ride
Comic Book Resources’ Top 100 Comics of 2013 Part 1: Sabertooth Swordsman
Comic Book Resources’ Top 100 Comics of 2013 Part 2: Dream Thief | Blade of the Immortal | Hellboy: The Midnight Circus
Comic Book Resources’ Top 100 Comics of 2013 Part 3: The Black Beetle
Comic Book Resources’ Top 100 Comics of 2013 Part 4: MIND MGMT | The Fifth Beatle | Hellboy in Hell | Bad Houses
Comic Bastards’ Comic Book Round-Up: The Best Part 1:

• Best Single Issue: The Goon #44 | The Massive #17
• Best Ongoing: MIND MGMT 
• Best Miniseries: Baltimore | Darth Vader and the Ninth Assassin | The Black Beetle
Comic Bastards’ The Best of Part 2:
• Best OGN: Hellboy: The Midnight Circus | Last Man Standing | The Last of Us: American Dreams
• Best All-Ages Title: Itty Bitty Hellboy
Comic Bastards’ The Best of Part 3:
• Best Book of 2012 We’re Still Talking About: Conan the Barbarian
• Best Revival: Brain Boy
• Best Adaptation: The Last of Us: American Dreams | The Art of BioShock Infinite | The Star Wars
Multiversity’s 2013 in Review:
• Best Ongoing Series: Hellboy in Hell | MIND MGMT | B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth
• Best Writer: John Arcudi | Matt Kindt | Kelly Sue DeConnick
• Best Artist: J. H. Williams III
• Best Miniseries: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys | Catalyst Comix | B.P.R.D.: Vampire
• Best PublisherDark Horse Comics
• Best Graphic Novel: Sin Titulo | Hellboy: The Midnight Circus
• Most Overlooked Series: Catalyst Comix | MIND MGMT | Gamma
• Breakout Writer: Frank Barbiere | Joshua Williamson
• Breakout Artist: Ulises Farinas | Greg Smallwood
Uproxx’s 15 Best Comic Books of 2013: Buzzkill | Star Wars
Unwinnable’s Best Comics of 2013: The Shaolin Cowboy | Hellboy in Hell | B.P.R.D.
VICE’s Ten Best Comics of 2013: The Manara Library Volume 5
The Village Voice’s 2013’s Best Graphic Novels: Sacrifice
PopCandy’s Best of 2013: Bad Houses
USA Today’s 2013’s Best Graphic Novels and Collections: The Black Beetle Volume 1 | The Fifth Beatle
USA Today’s Best Comic Books of 2013:
• Best Cover Artist: Jenny Frison
• Most Insane Read: Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight
• Best Throwback: Star Wars
• Honorable Mentions:
• Rookie of the Year (Character): Buzzkill
• Best Miniseries: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Monday, March 3, 2014

Do, Re, Egon into the Bygone


            On February 24th our city lost a dear friend when, Dr. Egon Spengler, at the age of 69, passed away after being crushed by a psychokinetic twinkie, thirty-five feet long and weighing six hundred pounds. A close friend has gone on record to say, "That's a big twinkie."
            He is survived by the members of his former Ghost Busting team, Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stantz, and Winston Zeddmore. He leaves behind several close acquaintances; secretary and self described "intellectual", Janine Melnitz; lawyer, stand-in Ghostbuster and former Keymaster, Louis Tully, Dr. Peter Venkman's on again, off again girlfriend of the last thirty years, Dana Barrett; and his pet toaster.
            In his free time Dr. Spengler enjoyed straightening Slinkies and drilling holes in his head [as long as nobody was around to stop him], as well as adding to his collection of molds, spores, and fungi. Dr. Spengler was one of the founding members of the squad of ghost busting civil servants known as the Ghostbusters, who came into notoriety in the early 1980's when an ancient Sumerian God known as Gozer the Destructor sought to level the city while masquerading as a 100ft tall version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.
            Dr. Spengler once again came to the aide of the city when, in 1989, a Carpathian warlord, known as Vigo the Cruel [alias: Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy, among others], was resurrected from a painting by a psychomagnotheric slime flow and threatened to enslave society. His passing puts to rest any hopes for a reunion tour with his former Ghostbuster pals, after all, how can there be a Ghostbusters without Egon?

            His efforts were truly appreciated, and he will be deeply missed. Condolences and sympathies can be directed to the Ghostbusters hotline: 555-2369. Who you gunna call?


Written by: Cy 'The Horror Guy'

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Keith Leanza's picks for the 86th Annual Academy Awards

With the 86th annual Academy Awards just around the corner, many people are making predictions as though they are Gods and know who is going to be presented with these awards, and most of these people are wrong. It is near impossible to predict what movie will win best picture and what director will be crowned the best. Many people are predicting Leonardo DiCaprio will win his first best Actor in a leading role award, but in the words of WWE superstar, Wade Barrett, I got some BAD NEWS. Matthew McConaughey lost 40lbs to play a homophobic patient, and as we know gay, Aids, and/or a Hollywood beauty turning ugly is a sure thing for the Oscar (Tom Hanks in Philadelphia, Theron in Monster ). I do believe that The Wolf of Wall Street Director, Martin Scorsese, will win his second Best Director award, but the movie will win very few other awards, although, I believe one of those awards will be the holy grail of awards (Best Picture).

American Hustle is nominated for a total of 10 awards and truly deserved the nominations. The problem with this movie is the competition it's facing this year. It's going take best actor in a Supporting Role with very few actors as good as Bradley Cooper and Amy Adams is going to win Best Actress in a lead role. If it wasn't for Sally Hawkins' amazing performance in Blue Jasmine, Jennifer Lawrence would join her co-stars with the award in best Actress in a supporting role. I know what you're saying, "What about Christian Bale? He was great in American Hustle." You're right, he was great, but there were at least three people who deserve it before him including Bruce Dern, who was brilliant in Nebraska. Remember not everyone can be presented with an award. Just remember my picks are as wrong as everyone else picking these type of things,  but enjoy them nevertheless.


Best Picture:                                  The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Actor in a leading role:           Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Best Actress in a leading role:       Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Best actor in a Supporting Role:    Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
Best Actress in a supporting role: Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
Best Director:                                 Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Best animated film:                        Despicable Me 2
Best Cinematography:                   Gravity
Best Costume Design:                   The Great Gatsby
Best Documentary feature:           Dirty Wars
Best Documentary Short:             Cave Digger
Best Film Editing:                          12 Years a Slave
Best Foreign Film:                         The Great Beauty
Best Makeup and Hairstyling:     Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Best Original Score:                      Ordinary Love (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)
Best Production Design:               Gravity
Best Animated Short Film:            Get A Horse!
Best Live Action Short film:          Helium
Best Sound Editing:                       The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Best Visual Effects:                       Star Trek Into Darkness
Best Adapted Screenplay:            The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Original Screenplay:             Dallas Buyers Club

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Brian Harris' picks for the 86th Annual Academy Awards

Instead of including some preamble, let's get right into the awards as I predict they'll be. 

Best Supporting Actress- Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave. Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle. Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine. Julia Roberts, August: Osage County. June Squibb, Nebraska. 

Will Win: Lupita Nyong'o- 12 Years a Slave.  This poor woman had to go through way too much to not get this win. Steve McQueen is famous for his extremely long cut scenes (they've been done in all three of his major works: Hunger, Shame and 12 Years) and the scene where Solomon Northrop/Platt is forced to whip Patsey is spectacularly acted and this scene alone is worthy of Nyong'o's first Oscar.

Could Win: Jennifer Lawrence- American Hustle. This category is one of the real toss-up categories. While Nyong'o probably should win this Oscar just based on the grueling nature of the role, I don't think anyone would be surprised if Lawrence joined the short list of actors to win in back to back years.


Should Win: Nyong'o. Again, this could go either way, by Nyong'o really should win this award.

Should have been nominated: Julianne Nicholson- August: Osage County. This movie had some of the best performances of the year (not least among them, relative unknowns Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep) but Ivy's sad and beautiful love affair with her brother (spoiler alert?) was actually really touching through Nicholson's performance.

Best Supporting Actor- Barkhad Abdi, Captain Philips. Bradley Cooper, American Hustle. Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave. Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street. Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Will Win: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club. This is as close to a lock as there has been in years. Leto was genuinely believable as Rayon, homophobic Ron Woodroof's unlikely transgender woman partner (even though I really thought Leto would be a lot prettier as a woman; weird thought, I know) and probably deserves this award...but:

Could Win/Should Win: Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave. 

Look, I'm a huge fan of 30 Seconds to Mars and thought Leto was fantastic, like really, really fantastic. But Fassbender was absolutely amazing as Epps the piece of shit slave-owner in 12 Years. He simply had to do more than Leto did. He was horrifying and shocking and wonderful. Steve McQueen (not Bullit) directs movies that demand a lot of his actors, and Fassbender has kicked ass in every one of his movies. In this one, I think he deserves recognition more than ever, especially after the snub the Academy served him because he showed his penis wayyyy too much in Shame.


Should have been nominated: Daniel Bruhl, Rush. I don't know who I would eliminate from this category but Daniel Bruhl really deserves to be recognized for is shockingly accurate portrayal of Niki Lauda. Watching this movie, it was a bit slow moving. But the work as a whole was great. And afterwards, watching interviews with the real Niki Lauda, it was chilling how dead-on Bruhl got this performance down. As Sir Jackie Stewart put it: "Daniel Bruhl played a better Niki than Niki did." 

Best Actress- Amy Adams, American Hustle. Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine. Sandra Bullock, Gravity. Judi Dench, Philomena. Meryl Stree, August: Osage County

Will Win: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine. This is another category that's as clear-cut as it gets. It's a shame that her performance is being tainted by Woody Allen's (who is probably a terrible person) personal life, which has absolutely nothing to do with her fantastic performance.

Could Win: Amy Adams, American Hustle. I don't know, if I had to pick a runner up, I guess it's Amy Adams. She's not going to win, nor do I think she should. She was solid, as she always is. Was she the best actress this year? A hard no.

Should Win: It's Blanchett across the board.


Should Have Been Nominated: Emma Thomspon, Saving Mr. Banks. Can anyone honestly explain how she was not nominated?? Sure, her character was completely unlikable, but sorry, so was P.L. Travers. Thompson was exactly as wonderful as she always is, and perhaps I'm biased because it was a Tom Hanks film and a Disney film, but she carried this movie on her own as a character that no one liked and made it more than enjoyable. Not only should she have been nominated, she probably should have won this year.

Best Actor- Christian Bale, American Hustle. Bruce Dern, Nebraska. Leonardo Dicaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street. Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave. Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Byers Club.


Will Win: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club. For the past few years, everyone has been saying something along the lines of "Matthew McConaughey is an incredible actor". Ten years ag- nay, two years ago, that would have sounded like a joke. However, his performances in Bernie, Killer Joe, Mud, Magic Mike, Dallas Buyers Club and the spectacular True Detective have made McConaughey one of the most respected actors in the world. Nowhere does he prove it more as the unlikely AIDs patient turned even more unlikely AIDs activist in Dallas Buyers Club. He's another huge lock for this year's awards.

Could Win: Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave. If there's another actor who has truly earned this award its Ejiofor. I've loved him since Love Actually, Serenity and Kinky Boots and always thought he deserved more. Unfortunately, this probably won't be his year, but he's opening a lot of eyes, which will one day soon earn him an Oscar.

Should Win: It's McConaughey and that's all there is to it. "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." It had to be said.

Should Have Been Nominated: Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis. I can understand why certain people didn't fall in love with this movie. It was very different. Very, very different. What I can't understand is how Oscar Isaac's performance got overlooked. He was at all times unlikable, kind-of-shitty, kind-of-funny and always believable, which, by the way, is why we watch movies, no?

Best Director- David O. Russell, American Hustle. Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity. Alexander Payne, Nebraska. Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave. Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street. 


Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity. This is one of the few times where I agree with a film not winning the top prize but the director winning it (last year's Ang Lee but not Life of Pi being another rare example). Cuaron did an unbelievable job with Gravity. An unspeakably good job. What he did with this film is absolutely unheard of. He deserves every single accolade he gets, including The Illumi-Nerdi's.


Could Win: Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave. If Steve McQueen wins, do not be surprised. His first two efforts (Hunger and Shame) did not get the recognition that they deserved and he may finally get his big prize. If he doesn't, it won't affect me in the slightest because I'm reasonably confident he will win the big prize for Best Picture and beyond that, I think he'll win as Director within the next ten years. And that's not too bad right?

Should Win: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity. Unfortunately for Steve McQueen, there's no real reason Cuaron shouldn't win. I really, truly love McQueen, but Cuaron really did more for film.

Should Have Been Nominated: Denis Villeneuve, Prisoners. The fact that Prisoners was almost completely shut out of the Academy Awards is borderline ridiculous. Jackman really deserved to be recognized for his truly tragic role, but the picture itself deserved much more than it's non-talk.



Best Picture- 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, Dallas Buyers Club, Captain Philips, Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Philomena, The Wolf of Wall Street. 
Will Win: 12 Years a Slave. This was the best movie this year. Simply put. It had the best performances, the most realism, unbelievable direction (despite it being bested by Cuaron's) and the best script. Those are the elements that constitute a best picture.

Could Win: Gravity. This is one of those huge question marks. Is it going to be 12 Years or Gravity? Both are well deserved, to be sure. Gravity is the best technical movie, probably in the history of film. But did it tell a better story or a more effective story than 12 Years? I don't think so.

Should Win: 12 Years. See above.

Should Have Been Nominated: Inside Llewyn Davis. This was not the Coen Brothers' best movie. Usually that would sound like a slight, but they're responsible for some of the best films of the last 20 years. The fact that this movie was practically ignored (especially in the music categories!!!!) is a travesty.