Monday, March 3, 2014

Do, Re, Egon into the Bygone

            On February 24th our city lost a dear friend when, Dr. Egon Spengler, at the age of 69, passed away after being crushed by a psychokinetic twinkie, thirty-five feet long and weighing six hundred pounds. A close friend has gone on record to say, "That's a big twinkie."
            He is survived by the members of his former Ghost Busting team, Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stantz, and Winston Zeddmore. He leaves behind several close acquaintances; secretary and self described "intellectual", Janine Melnitz; lawyer, stand-in Ghostbuster and former Keymaster, Louis Tully, Dr. Peter Venkman's on again, off again girlfriend of the last thirty years, Dana Barrett; and his pet toaster.
            In his free time Dr. Spengler enjoyed straightening Slinkies and drilling holes in his head [as long as nobody was around to stop him], as well as adding to his collection of molds, spores, and fungi. Dr. Spengler was one of the founding members of the squad of ghost busting civil servants known as the Ghostbusters, who came into notoriety in the early 1980's when an ancient Sumerian God known as Gozer the Destructor sought to level the city while masquerading as a 100ft tall version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.
            Dr. Spengler once again came to the aide of the city when, in 1989, a Carpathian warlord, known as Vigo the Cruel [alias: Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy, among others], was resurrected from a painting by a psychomagnotheric slime flow and threatened to enslave society. His passing puts to rest any hopes for a reunion tour with his former Ghostbuster pals, after all, how can there be a Ghostbusters without Egon?

            His efforts were truly appreciated, and he will be deeply missed. Condolences and sympathies can be directed to the Ghostbusters hotline: 555-2369. Who you gunna call?

Written by: Cy 'The Horror Guy'

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